
As a child my mother and I frequently moved from one small town in Iowa to another. Each time it was a brief breath of fresh air. That was, until school would start, and I was deemed as the new kid. “Kick me signs” and exclusion from circles of girls coloring (“can I join?” “No, sorry, we don’t have enough colors…”) have stayed in my memory for years.
With time, I would slowly integrate with other classroom misfits, those with runny noses and long-lasting habits of peeing their pants. And when we moved to a small town that would be our home for nearly 7 years, I built friendships with foundations so strong that I believe that they will stand the test of time.
While being thrown in as the new kid from one school to another was difficult for my eight-year-old self, I figured it would be a piece of cake when moving overseas to Switzerland. Surely adults can make lasting friendships easier than children.
Boy, was I wrong.
- Why integration in Switzerland is hard
- A culture that does not disturb
- Profound respect for the tribe
- Rejection to artificial chit-chat
- Swiping into Swiss life: My dating app story
- What dating taught me about Swiss culture
- Not single and ready to mingle? Try this instead
- Join a Club, course, or other group activity
- Volunteer or join a local cause
- Become a regular
Why integration in Switzerland is hard
A culture that does not disturb

Whether moving to Switzerland or visiting for your #EuroSummer, the respect for people and their environment is easily sensed. The country is Beaver Cleaver clean and orderly.
Traveling by train throughout the Swiss countryside, you may be shushed by the train controller if seated in first class, where conversations must be held in the corridor or in the dining area outside of your train carriage.
Living in Switzerland, you quickly learn about rules in place within apartments complexes to make co habitation more pleasant for all. This includes not flushing the toilet, washing your clothes, or taking a shower or bath after 10:00 p.m. However, the rules are not limited to recycling on Sundays (glass bottles make too much noise) and mowing your lawn (need we explain)? As authorities enforce quiet hours on Sundays, recycling or mowing the lawn on Sunday can even be faced with fines.
Profound respect for the tribe


As someone who was nicknamed “15-minutes late Laura”, face often flushed from rushing to my Russian literature class in college, adjusting to Swiss time has been groundbreaking. The first incident happened in a group fitness class, where I arrived five minutes after the music had begun. When opening the door, the instructor stopped mid push-up, reminding me in front of the class of the start time, and how arriving late was not only unfair to me, but also to my red-faced, sweaty peers.
I see the look of severe disappointment in my Swiss husband if my prolonged coffee and playtime with our cat hinders us from arriving not only on time, but early. In his eyes, like many Swiss, being on time makes you nearly late, so it’s best to leave a 10 or 15-minute buffer period in case of any, unorderly like mishaps.
Being late does not only impact you, but is disrespectful to the entire tribe.
Rejection to artificial chit-chat

As previously mentioned in this blog post, my inquiry as to whether my doctor was from Geneva was met with a curious stare and a defiant “no.”
When I shared this with my 78-year-old Swiss mother-in-law, she was astounded: “Of course your doctor didn’t tell you where she was from!” she laughed out loud, “That’s not why she’s there!”
The Swiss highly value privacy, which famously makes it a desired destination for celebrities (looking at you Audrey Hepburn, Tina Turner, Shania Twain, and Phil Collins). Italian actress Sophia Loren has also called Geneva home and has been spotted at local pizzerias. While seen, she is not chased down for autographs, but is instead left to eat her pasta in peace.
I will say that making friends as an adult in any country is difficult. But something about opening up to strangers is accepted, if not the protocol, in the United States. If Jennifer is your waitress, you will know about Jennifer’s dead dog, her father who is diabetic and her dreams of becoming a dental hygienist by the end of the meal. And while Europeans are the first to tell me that this behavior is totally fake, I must disagree.
I believe that talking to others outside of our inner circles in an era in which people open up more to ChatGPT than their neighbors, is something refreshingly sincere.
Swiping into Swiss life: My dating app story

In 2018, my corporate job unexpectedly presented the opportunity of a lifetime: to relocate to Switzerland. Without any connections to Geneva, I searched for housing on Facebook. In a miracle of all miracles, my new apartment wasn’t a scam, and my roommate was a dream to live with. Settling in Geneva seemed seamless, almost too good to be true.
Until it wasn’t.
“Toxic” is a buzzword often thrown in to describe corporate bullsh*t. And this workplace was no exception (HR sharing salaries to other staff members, a boss throwing temper tantrums, many a trip to the restroom to cry, and anxious nights dreading what the next day would bring).
Outside of work, I hung out with coworkers. Misery, as they say, loves company. Our time together usually revolved around dissecting the one thing that united us: our mutual unhappiness.
Working long hours and often on weekends, I found an escape from my corporate bubble in creating a Tinder profile.
To be honest, I didn’t enjoy it. Swiping felt icky—judging someone based on five curated photos and a bland caption. It felt like flipping through apartment listings in the classifieds: all of us trying to sell ourselves, hoping someone might bite.
After two weeks, I shut down my account, but kept chatting via WhatsApp with three matches. Mustering up the courage for a first date, I met an artistic Swiss-Italian with cheekbones like David Bowie. He had studied fashion and even recognized the brand of jeans I wore from a past collection. He talked a lot about his family—especially his brother, an architect who had recently moved back from Japan.
I felt proud for getting out of my comfort zone (because meeting a stranger who you met online is a bit nerve-racking when you’re new to the game). And while my first date seemed like an interesting person, we never met again.
Bachelor #2 was another artsy type, younger than me with a scruffy shaven face. We went to get coffee and he ordered tea, a favorite of his from his days of living in Japan. He had recently relocated to Geneva to pursue his career as an architect.
He reminded me so much of someone, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
“Do you have a brother?” I asked.
“Yeah, I do.”
“Is his name… Grégoire?”
“Yeah! You know him?”
I knew more than just his name. I knew about their family dog. Their family dynamics. I even knew more about him than I cared to admit. I told him I had gone on a date with his brother. He didn’t know that his brother had a Tinder account, and we even took a selfie and sent it to him.
Geneva really is a village.
I was about to throw in the towel with online dating. One last contact from Tinder and I were still chatting back and forth on WhatsApp. He made me laugh and even texting seemed to come very naturally. I had already postponed meeting the guy once or twice, a story of feeling nervous.
And when we did finally meet, I had wished that we had met sooner. Years sooner, in fact.
We ended up getting married to make up for lost time.
What dating taught me about Swiss culture

Dating my now Swiss husband was an entrance through a safely secured door, one open to exclusive VIPs comprised of close family and friends.
The Swiss are generally warm but deeply private. Case in point: the viral video of a Coldplay concert that made the rounds online recently left many Swiss people I know baffled. Why would his company care? Ce sont ses oignons—none of your business.
While my focus group of Swiss culture is minimal (my husband, his family, and his close circle of friends), patterns seem persistent:
- Friendships often begin in childhood or adolescence. They know your history, and they’re committed to your present.
- Newcomers need a legitimate entry point—a mutual connection or, in my case, being the new girlfriend of someone already in the circle.
- Patience is essential. People I initially found cold or closed off slowly warmed up—by the fifth soirée, some had become my favorites.
- Once you’re in, you’re in—like being inducted into a gang (but with more fondue). You’re now part of the family, a member of the pack.
Not single and ready to mingle? Try this instead
Join a Club, course, or other group activity

Dance has changed my life in so many ways- I finally found a workout that doesn’t feel like working out. Two-to-three times a week I go to ballet or (sorry mom and dad) cabaret. I feel more flexible, creative, and even more confident in who I am (much more a lifelong journey than a sprint).
In true Swiss fashion, the group of women in my cabaret class did not ask questions about me, nor where my accent was from, until the very last day. For one year they thought I was Italian. And to be fair, I didn’t know much about them aside from their professions.
Most gyms will offer group workout classes. Co-workers may know of WhatsApp group chat to organize hikes. A few other resources to find classes or other activities in Geneva include:
- Meetup.com – For social events, hiking groups, language exchanges, photography walks, etc.
- Eventfrog.ch – Swiss-wide platform with concerts, parties, workshops, and community events.
- Geneve.ch or your local commune’s website – For official events, local festivals, exhibitions, and cultural programming.
- OnVaSortir.com – French-language platform for spontaneous social meetups (more local than Meetup).
- Facebook Events – Check the “Events” tab and filter by location (Geneva, Lausanne, etc.).
- InterNations – For events with other expats in your area (I tried this when I first landed in Switzerland and went to events such as a chocolate tasting tour, a fashion show with local designers, and a wine tasting).
Volunteer or join a local cause

Volunteering helps people connect on a deeper level than a group workout class. The most inspiring people I know are active volunteers – whether that be from building a school from scratch in El Salvador to grocery shopping for those who cannot.
A few volunteer organizations within Geneva and Switzerland more broadly include:
- Serve the City Geneva: Offers flexible, short-term opportunities in areas such as helping the homeless, distributing food, visiting the elderly, and organizing community meals. No long-term commitment is required.
- Benevolat.ch: Switzerland’s central volunteering platform—search by region, cause, and availability.
- Geneva Red Cross: Offers a wide range of community-based roles—from helping isolated seniors to tutoring migrant children.
- Caritas: Focuses on social inclusion, poverty reduction, and integration support. You can help with language tutoring, administrative assistance, or social outreach programs.
- Local animal shelters: SOS Chats Noiraigue in Neuchatel or SPA Genève often seek help with animal care, adoption support, or fundraising events.
Become a regular


This rule applies really to any place. Our favorite coffee places, the grocery store with the good bread, the movie theater with the lounge seats, or your hairdresser- these elements that make up our daily lives help us build connection, even in the smallest ways.
I notice this more in a world in which you don’t need to say hi anymore when going to the grocery store for self-checkout. You can even order your coffee on a phone app and pick up to go.
Life has become more efficient, and at the same time even more isolating. Living abroad, that initial step towards conversation in your second, third or fourth language may be more anxiety inducing than in your home country, but adding a small list of local favorites will help you to ground roots in a new city, making connections along the way.
This is gorgeous and I can totally relate, especially the being on time thing! ????
Aww thank you! It’s so special to be read by an incredible writer!